HOW I FOUND RELIGION

I'm a gettin tired and weary
   of this hard old road I'm on
seems like every town I pass through
   looks like every other one
I was stayin at a Ramada Inn
   in a place called Bangor, Maine
I was feelin mighty lonely
   the pills didn't ease my pain

I turned on the television
   Oral Roberts was speakin the truth
sayin Give your love to Jesus
   and give those Ruskies the boot
well I dug what he was sayin
   I knelt down and prayed awhile
then I hollered out the window
   to the people passin by

I told them of my new-found faith
   how I was born again
how Jesus was my saviour
   my brother and my friend
but they didn't seem to hear me
   so I stepped out on the ledge
I yelled out louder and louder
   till I sorta slipped off the edge

It was thirty stories to the ground
   the sidewalk was comin up fast
before my startled eyes
   flashed my entire miserable past
but Jesus didn't save me
   though I prayed and prayed and prayed
a passing spaceship beamed me aboard
   and carried me away

Now I'm flyin through the cosmos
   on a cruiser from Cylon 5
their god's a jar of peanut butter
   and I'm thankin him I'm alive
so if you're lookin for a saviour
   one who shines above the rest
Jesus may be just alright
   but Skippy is the best.


                                             (Mike O'Brien)